No Refrain

The sound of wheels turning fill my ears
the sound of thread being spun
the quiet shush of sand draining
and yet my sound is silence.

Photos rain down around me
unknown faces, and strange places
but stillness is all I find
the days pass around me, unchanging.

I find myself looking over my own shoulder
remembering who and what was
when and where was this thing I lost,
these people.

It seems as though, somehow,
the world moves on seamlessly
leaving me behind
without bothering to knock at my door.

The day has been and gone when
I had a moment to speak to an old friend,
and tell of how much I miss, and still love them
but the words stuck, helpless, as I tried not to cry.

I once wished that everyone around me
could believe that maybe I
was changing too, maybe I was going somewhere
or doing something that they hadn't, or couldn't.

The truth is...
I was left by the wayside, by choice?
Maybe once, but even then it hurt.
It wasn't leaving, it was falling, collapsing.

I dropped out, and lost my way,
but the race kept being run
and I; I couldn't seem
to wriggle my way back into the pace.

So my dearest friends
although some of you might feel
you weren't important to me
you were, I miss you.

I miss you so much.
I miss you all so very much.